you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
