I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I should be sponsored by Trojan
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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