We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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