I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize