So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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