So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
this beer tastes like vomit already
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
