Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
