I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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