now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
