Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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