I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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