Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
