I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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