I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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