i just identified you from a description of your pipe
two words: eviction party
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
