i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
