beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
