So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
