i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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