Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize