we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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