There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
