I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
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i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
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I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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