do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
did you just send me my own nude
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Randomize
