that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Someone shattered a urinal.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
