Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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