Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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