I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
