i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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