At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
