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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize