He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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