Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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