i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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