So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize