Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
