I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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