The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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