I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
