Can i not drive my cunt home
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
