just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
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We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
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I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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