He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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