I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
