I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
