Taylor Swift is so right about you.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
