I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
