you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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