Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
