So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
