she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
