i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
