i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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