Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
