Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
