so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Farmville is her only friend.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
