Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
