now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
