Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
