Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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