I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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