Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
