2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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