We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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