we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
